Day 407
What made me happy today?
yest i did double shifts which would explain why i came home and crashed and did not update haha. went for am shift and because it was too overcrowded, prof s semi-complained about us in a nice and diplomatic way and chased us out of the resus area except her own students and some of the international ones. oh the unfairness of it argh. so spent the morning doing plug setting and running around like an idiot and being restless. decided to stay for pm shift as well in an attempt to learn something for the day, was quite quiet but not too bad i guess. i think my own prof spoils me too much because im so used to his teachings that i think everyone else pales in comparison and i leave shifts feeling depressed hahhaha. but discovered today that prof s has a lot of say when it comes to residency intake, eugh, i knew i should have done an elective under her haha. maybe i should just forgo taiwan and do another two weeks with prof s instead. sucking up rocks i swear hahaha, im so getting into the hang of this whole thing now. two weeks late though oh well, im a late bloomer.
went to harass this gp locum in the clinics after pm shift to get his contact for missions trips, and then went to talk to k in his empty clinic, i swear he didnt recognise me at first but maybe he did in the end, or maybe he was just entertaining me and secretly thinking to himself “who this weirdo” like what i always think when strangers talk to me, i dont know but clearly thick skinned was me yest because i decided to be thick skinned and walk into his clinic. im clearly getting braver and braver, and getting into the whole “not have any regrets” mantra, v proud of myself now haha. or maybe he did recognise me after all. he stared at my name tag for the longest time with a completely blank look on his face and i was mortified but when i was about to turn around and walk off he said “why you hit me” in that same tone as the last time and im thinking maybe he did rmb me after all hm.
had to wake up early this morning because y called me and woke me up. went for jap buffet lunch with y and s, came back for pm shift. not too bad today, more teachings, new faces in the ed, and more or less constant flow of pts for the night. dr j remembers me from posting too, and he says he rmbs my name too hahahah, so pleased with myself. i think its because i was the last batch of students to do ed posting there during this current batch of mo posting, so they all still rmb me from december. plus i was there almost everyday then. ive been so tired this week, getting into full ed mode but yet so so happy, wish i could have integrated myself this well during the last two weeks then maybe i could have gained more from this elective. i rmb during posting when i went into ed mode right from day one and it was the most awesome month ever, albeit the most tiring. but now im only getting into the hang of things two weeks later hm. maybe i really shld extend that two weeks in may, and come back during ent too, think its time for me to go find r tmr agn to extend my elective hahaha. but no more incentive in the form of k hehe, okay i kid.
meeting b for lunch tmr, once he replies and we confirm time and place haha. and then pm shift agn with dr a. looking forward to it except i think everyone’s not going so it might just be me alone but im functioning better on my own alr, not as needy as the last two weeks now haha. and then full day shifts agn this friday. looking forward to it too. and being thick skinned because i need to ask dr b for research opportunities.
and ten thousand emails to send and things to settle. SIGH.
k said to me last night “emed ah, are you sure. the weird hours will make you look cui and have no friends” hahaha what everyone tells me. but then ed doctors are the happiest too, thats what other people say. this time around im letting my heart rule my head. i just hope i get the chance to follow my heart. goodnight.
