Day 397
What made me happy today?
i had a really bad morning actl, was really sad yest studying and thinking too much because i enjoyed myself on tues and didnt want to study agn haha, and went to sleep feeling unsettled, woke up this morning and argued with my parents, okay not argue just not what i would love to start the mornings with and so i cried in the middle of breakfast. you know, not even showered yet and past breakfast and alr crying. and i was so pissed and tired alr i just didnt feel right. looked like death literally for the rest of the day, felt so bad in starbucks because the baristas were really nice to me today and i couldnt even muster a smile that lasted more than ten seconds. in the morning at least haha. but it was a really good day after, well i mean it became better, or maybe the chocolates really do help, with all that endorphins release you know.
those boys there at starbucks are really funny and i really think its actl just that one new guy whos so super noisy and full of shit and who influences all the others to become as bad so it became four times as bad during the afternoon when everyone whos on shift for the whole day were there. as usual they attempted to guess my drink with the usual betting. and saw d who popped by agn after his shift at the concourse outlet this morning, he was talking to this other person at the next table and i was just blatantly eavesdropping and found out hes going to culinary school this coming march, talk about cool shit. and he was talking about how opening a restaurant is his second dream, after fashion which he tried but failed. and i just wondered whats my biggest dream in life hmm, maybe i’ll be one of those who leave a high flying job to pursue something lame and end up being the happiest person ever hahaha, quite likely i must say too, when im having a midlife crisis next la huh, now im just at the quarter life crisis stage haha. and then had a throwing mochis at me from across the counter. and just before i left the other barista whos relatively new and whose name i do not know, gave me a free drink, i really think its cuz i look too sad sitting there everyday from morning to night for the past two weeks.
i couldnt finish psych today, seriously. its only one station out of eight damn it. i ought to be spending more time on emed or obg which has two stations each, not psych. and this is so lame. but theres so much to study for psych and i have no way of predicting what kind of station they will give, could be anything from history taking to explaining conditions to explaining pharmaco or psychotherapy to dealing with angry patients/relatives. i just want to screw this shit and go sleep the rest of the week away. but no this year i might just be able to do better than previous years. and i love this year so i will do well for it damn it.
and i need to learn malay. okay that was random. hearing too much malay speak being shouted around behind the starbucks counter everyday. i think most of the time they are actl bitching about other people. tsk.
